Having You In The Future

“Cinta tidak harus memiliki..”

We call it by that in Indonesian Language. Maybe it’s “You don’t have to own the love” in English. But wait, what the hell is wrong with me? I can tell you it’s not an usual feeling.

What’s the meaning of this? I’ll explain to you. It’s a condition when you fall in love with someone, but you know that you can’t have him/her. Then, you can see him/her happy with another person and meanwhile it gives you a heartsick. I believe almost everyone has ever felt it. Well, you can’t force your desire to make him/her love you back. – Actually I don’t really like to write about this, because it’s kinda a difficult matter –”

But the love that I’m feeling here is about something that I can’t comply. It’s just, the condition doesn’t allow me to have him. I’ve been loving him since high school time. But I don’t have any courage to make him mine. Just why? I think he is a part of me, I really want to learn about him. Whenever I hear rock songs, especially Avenged Sevenfold, that desire to have him appear once again now. Maybe I get older now, and I don’t have an idea where I should start this.

When I went to bookstore last week, it finally cracked me up. I think I want to cry when I saw him standing gallantly there. Just why.. I was thinking about having him. But I really can’t, I don’t have any skills. Perhaps, I can learn it through the internet or whatever. It will be great if I can play with him while I’m studying. And it will be amazing if I can play with him whenever I want. Maybe I can have you in the future =)



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